20 Recent Front Page

• Populism and Republicanism
• Preaching to the Choir
• And Another Thing
• Almost Last Words
• Happy Thanksgiving
• Cooking
• Eating History
• AIDS Cure Found in Dolphin Livers
• Apologies
• The Small Stuff
• Snow Job
• Bliss
• Ammo Day
• From the Closet
• Satire
• The United States of America:  The Miniseries
• Intellectual Curiosity
• Fifteen to a Boat
• Oh, Good Grief
• Strawman

Frontpage Calendar

Mrs. du Toit Weblog

This site is inactive as of November 30, 2008.

Saturday, November 29, 2008

And Another Thing

I will be eternally grateful to the people we’ve met through our blogs… the ones that have come to our home (or homes we’ve visited) and allowed our children to see the lives of so many great people.

After Mr. & Mrs. Freemarket went back to their hotel last night, Daughter and her friend lingered, not wanting the conversation to end.  I look at Mr. & Mrs. FM as great and wonderful friends to hang around with and talk to, but to our children, they’ve been an International education.  Meeting people from all over the country, and from all over the world, has given them a sense of the world that is just indescribably bountiful and valuable.

They listen to everything people say and they get a sense of the world and a perspective they would not otherwise have.  It is amazing (and was amazing last night) to have Daughter recall so many conversations and tidbits from years of socializing with interesting, educated adults.  You think they’re not listening, but they are, taking it all in like sponges.

So… that list of advice I created yesterday failed to mention something:  They’re always listening.

Daughter was explaining to her friend the “plan” we’ve always had in our family… the one where Kim and I work to help our children make a life and then, as we get to our doting ages, things flip.  They become the adults and the baton is passed to them.  We surrender our house and control to them, with complete faith that they won’t abuse us.

Where society got the idea that there is a point in your life when you stop contributing and stop being productive has always interested me.  There is no such thing as retirement from the world, when you spend your life playing golf or something.  This (about) fifty year period in history has been like no other--that parenting and being productive was something like a phase that ends.  That has never happened in history before, and it will never happen again.  It was a mistake and it’s over.  In exchange for being taken care of, our grandchildren will be cared for, as well as general “help” around the house.  That’s not an option, that’s a duty (and a delight I look forward to).

That connection was somehow broken and it allowed people to be bad parents, thinking it was some sort of temporary thing.  Knowing that the bond between parent and child is never broken--and knowing that we are modeling the behavior and the way we will want to be treated in our dotage, means that we cannot be callous about the relationship we have with our children.  We can’t be authoritarians in our treatment of our children or that is what we’ll get.  They have to be involved in family decisions (even trivial ones, having to do with what color to paint the walls).  If we don’t treat our children with respect, how would we ever expect them to treat us with respect?

Meeting responsible and involved people has made those lessons all the more meaty.

Latest from:

American Farmer

by American Farmer

American Farmer may now be read on his own domain:
americanfarmerBLOG.com

Blogroll

Blogroll Archive (Zipped)

From the U.S. Constitution...